Here Kitty Kitty
by Elendil Star-Lover
Summary: My AU Sailor Saturn hates her boss. Virgo, Saturn's boss, hates her. They...hate each other. Saturn has never been one to play by the rules, and she found a new way to play. Beware Chibi Valkyries.
1. Virgo annoys me

Here Kitty Kitty  
By  
Elendil Star-Lover  
  
A/N: This is an expirement. I'm not into humor fics, so we'll see how far this goes. Sarabi makes a SCARY teacher, TERRIBLE villain, and a HORRIBLE chibi!  
  
Chapter one: Virgo Annoys Me  
  
He does. The stupid git thinks that because he is telekinetic, that he is a freak and everyone like him should be punished for being a little...unusual. This, of course, means me, my student, Riku Jenova, and my partner Digimon, Scarecrowmon. He thinks that because Riku is a mix of...things, Mesmer (nickname for Scarecrowmon) can read minds, and I am the last of a species that SUPPOSEDLY died out during Silver Melinium, that we all need to pay a visit to the animal shelter.  
  
He does everything he can to make me miserable. He bad mouths me, calls me names, tries my short fuse, keeps me away from those I love (most of which are human), and THEN he gets mad when I bite him!  
  
He KNOWS I have no social skills. He KNOWS I grew up in Oblivion. Why he has to do this to me, I don't know.  
  
Of course, I, Sarabi Nala Growltiger, Sailor Shadow Saturn, have always believed that life is a game. It's a game and we need to enjoy it. Still, though, I never been much of one to fallow the rules.  
  
I make my own.  
  
Mesmer sits in a chair behind me. I sit beneath him, on the "floor" in the Mist. Riku leans against my tree, the one Trista got for me when I moved in with her (I am a tree dweller by nature). He silently flexes his single wing and eyes me as if I am nuts (everyone thinks I, the DestructionBringer, am...but that's beside the point. ^_~) and maybe a bit angrily. He knows that only I can calm his temper. As a female Valkyrie, I am the only one who weilds power over him. He recognizes humans either as prey or a challenge, he does not recognize Mezzy as being alive, and, well, me, I been known to ram his face into concrete (good thing Oblivion is soft!).  
  
Mesmer's red-gloved hands are at my temples.  
  
"I am NOT changing diapers," Riku mutters.  
  
"You won't have to," Mesmer explains. "I will be there if, say, she takes a few of someone's fingers off, but it will be Virgo who has to look out for her."  
  
Riku is not convinced.  
  
"Sarabi, I am NOT going to ask if you are insane again," Riku warns, "but I do question your judgement."  
  
"Ah, well," I say, smiling sweetly and closing my eyes, "when one grows up in solitary confinement---"  
  
"---one is usually a little off, been there, done that, saw the movie, bought the T-shirt," my pupil grins playfully.  
  
"He is right, Angel, are you sure you want to play this new game of yours?" For once my little Phantom Mesmer has taken a side not mine.  
  
"Absolutely," I say.  
  
Riku is right. I am clinically insane and no one ever said that death scared me or that I am not reckless.  
  
Anyway, so...  
  
:30~  
  
My name is Virgo of the Virgin. I am one of twelve men and women named after the twelve Zodiacs of the western world (I am an American, but the royal family I serve is Japanese) set aside on a council to police Crystal Tokyo.  
  
We each have our own strengths and talents. Leo is a fighter, I am a thinker. Perhaps that is why I can move things with my mind. It matters not.  
  
I am the head of the council, and therefore head of the armed forces.  
  
I am fifteen years old.  
  
I am the youngest member of the council.  
  
I am a clinical genius.  
  
Many say I look like either a white Scarecrowmon or a Sorcerimon in human form. My eyes are grey; my hair is white tinged with metallic silver. My clothes and cape are white and silver-trimmed. I have skin like ivory.  
  
Because I am the head of the armed forces, I am in charge of.Sailor Shadow Saturn.  
  
She should not be alive, but she is. She does not like rules, does not like to follow orders. It is her job to monitor Oblivion, her soul obsession to drive me stark, raving, bonkers.  
  
She, her partner Digimon, and her student are very good at it.  
  
"Someone is on the doorstep, sir," the doorbell said in a dull, metallic, artifical voice.  
  
I had just come from the shower, my shirt was off. I was drying my hair and with a towel as I opened the door.  
  
No one was there.  
  
A cooing sound grabbed my attention. I looked down. The spring peepers chirped, the stars winked at me.  
  
The Valkyrie cub wrapped in blankets cooed again and giggled through her pointed teeth.  
  
As I looked at the kitten, I growled and pounded the wall. I hissed, "I really, really hate that girl." 


	2. I REALLY hate that girl!

Chapter two: I REALLY hate that girl!  
  
Kyer: Teehee, okay, so perhaps pitting Virgo against Mezzy was a bad idea, BUT I think you will find that, while I don't think that either of them are very fair to each other, Virgo is a serious jerk when it comes to Sarabi. The lady may be egotistical, but at least when she gets angry she is either underfed. You have said something to Mesmer, Riku, or Riku's Digimon (^_~), or are trying to kill someone she loves. Virgo is---well, you'll find out. Hey, if you can, why not IM? If you're on when I upload this, of course.  
  
Poll Box Voting Thing: How many want to see Virgo get his own story? That plays on his SORE dislike of...freaks, as he so delicately puts it?  
  
I sat the toddler on my table and stared at her, steel gray human eye to bright green slitted eye. She was able to sit up by herself. If she had been human, I might have been surprised, but first, she was Sarabi and second, she was a Valkyrie. They grew fast for animals, from what I understood. The cub cooed at me, a slight mewling sound like a kitten, which was REALLY no surprise, and flapped her short, useless wings and wiggling her near-prehensile toes.  
  
"I just want you to know," I said, "that this new game of yours is likely to get us both killed."  
  
For one thing, Sarabi is HIGHLY toxic. She has barbs in her forearms that produce a degenerative neurotoxin that she, and from what I have been given to understand, her student, his Digimon, and her Digimon, are immune to. I could not be sure how toxic such a...little Sarabi was and I did not want to find out.  
  
For another thing, her soles and palms are bio-electric. They produce enough electricity to power her body. Part of the electricity is made from solar energy collected in the wings and some is from food. I suppose that a SMALL Sarabi would need LESS electricity, but still, Sarabi age fourteen could take enough to kill a human before her hearts committed suicide (the energy source affects her like many stimulants do us, but without the addictiveness). There was the slight chance that, even if the beast couldn't kill me slowly and painfully, she could make it VERY painful.  
  
She has told those I have sent her to find to stand trial that she will not kill them, but she will make them wish they were dead.  
  
She makes this threat to me daily.  
  
I blinked. She was gone. I sighed with relief. Perhaps I was imagining it. perhaps it was merely my freakish mental powers manifesting themselves in a new way.  
  
I DID think this...until I heard the china break... 


	3. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Chapter three: AAAHHHH!!  
  
Kyer: Can't answer you're question because that will tell you who's in the egg in Spirits, now won't it? ^_~ I can tell you that he is Riku's.  
  
I have a cabinet full of fine china, some of it collectors items. The surfaces of the plates are fine and delicate.  
  
Sarabi was sitting in a pile of them, smashed. She was holding a shard of one I had collected when I first changed my name, that is, claimed my position, in her grubby little claws and staring at her reflection in it.  
  
It figures she would do that. I was angry. I was more than angry. That was a relic from when I escaped from my parent's house and became a ward of the royal family themselves.  
  
A little cub was going to DIE today!  
  
I grabbed the runt by her tail and yanked her upward. She hissed at me and squealed, slashing at me with her tiny claws.  
  
"YOU are here to drive me insane, aren't you??" I screamed.  
  
Valkyrie children don't like loud noises.  
  
Considering they have a set of lungs, at least the females do not like loud noises.  
  
Sarabi began to bawl loud enough to wake the people up down the street.  
  
And then I dropped her, which made her scream louder. Not that it should have, right? I mean, I had to plug my ears, right?  
  
Not knowing what else to do, I jumped over her, muttering beneath my breath, begging her to shut up. Tears, freshwater and saltless, ran down Sarabi's chubby cheeks and her triangle nose began to run. I ran for the kitchen and seized raw, cold, slippery purple liver from the refrigerator.  
  
She shut up immediately; it seems that Sarabi has always thought with her stomach.  
  
:30~  
  
she fell asleep as soon as her stomach was full. I didn't waste time, I knew that she didn't need much sleep. I approached the bare wall in my living room after tying the little demoness to a cushion from my silver couch. I placed my pale pal against that wall and watched it open, revealing what might have been a television.  
  
"Show me Oblivion!" I shouted at it and then froze as Sarabi stirred in her sleep.  
  
Before there was a picture (my reception doesn't reach well that far into other dimensions), I heard the little red monster shouting, "NO! Don't! Do NOT do that---!"  
  
I didn't give himn a chance to finish screaming at the other two.  
  
"SCARECROWMON!"  
  
the picture clicked in, a black, colorless world full of fog. The only inhabitant I could see (Sarabi's representative when she wasn't around) was the future kind of the Digital World himself, Scarecrowmon. He stood out like a Valkyrie at a slaughterhouse, all red and vivid in the darkness.  
  
He froze and turned around, giving me a mock about-face and salute as well.  
  
"Looking for someone to mercenary for you?" he sneered.  
  
He may have tried to kill me if his telepathy reached that far.  
  
I hissed, "Expalin that!" and pointed to the sleeping animal getting cat hairs on the couch I worked so hard to keep clean.  
  
Scarecrowmon shrugged, "A product of your ambitious mind to create a version of Sarabi that will listen to your every whim?"  
  
I cannot deny that I liked that idea. "What did you do to her?" I whispered back, trying to keep my voice low for the light sleeper she was.  
  
Again, the crimson beast shrugged, "I didn't do anything."  
  
You would think that if he had been lying it would have shown through his eyes, right?  
  
I dropped to my haunches and knuckled my forehead, "Sorcerimon, Riku, pick ONE??"  
  
Scarecrowmon laughed. He sounded like Sarabi when she laughed, cold and feral.  
  
"Riku's magic isn't that developed and it runs like Sarabi's, more toward making things explode. Sorcerimon has been training with Riku alday and has been using up his energy for the purpose. You won't be able to prove a thing."  
  
I hate it when a lower species is right. 


End file.
